What the hell are you doing here?

Monday, May 18. 2015

Kidding, of course, you're always welcome, whoever you are.

I've started quite a few blogs in the past few years, some for school, some for other reasons, but I decided to just put it all in one place, so here it is.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, but at the very least I'll post my thoughts whenever the mood hits.

If you know me, you know that can be a dangerous thing ... my thoughts being shared, that is, but, with that said, enter at your own risk ... it could be an interesting trip. 8-)

And this too shall pass.

Monday, October 17. 2016

Ayana and I are no longer involved. I tried to remain friends, but the things that broke us up are getting in the way of friendship, too, so a clean break is probably necessary.

I wish her well.

Ayana (cont.)

Tuesday, September 6. 2016

7 months and going strong. It turns out Cyd has decided to embrace her asexual nature, so we are no longer a triad in the traditional sense. I still hope to one day be bonded to Ayana and Cyd is wrestling her demons and doing quite well. She accepts that Ayana and I are together and has allowed us Sunday as our day to be together.

My love for Cyd has not diminished, she is still my life partner and our love is even stronger than the day we wed. My love for Ayana has grown and continues to grow as we explore each other and learn more about each other. I have no doubt that this woman is the perfect compliment to my life.

I've also become involved with a couple polyamorous groups. One is a source of friendly advice and kindred spirits, the other is both of those things and is more sexual in nature ... kink is the word I should use here. Ayana and I have become part of the Misfits pack and Ayana is developing as a Domme and exploring her dominant nature. I am returning to the life I led with my ex-wife (I was her master and she my slave) and am embracing my Dom nature.

I am happier than I've been in a long time and as Cyd loses the jealousy she's experiencing and Ayana falls deeper in love with me, my happiness grows. I only wish I had done this sooner ... we are not monogamous by nature and my struggle to be monogamous led to misery.

Ayana

Sunday, February 28. 2016

Another woman has entered my life and I hope one day she will join Cyd and I in a civil union and eventually, when our society has matured enough to accept polyamory groups as marriages, she will marry us.

That is my hope. The reality is that Ayana and I have had exactly one conversation face-to-face and several days of emails. It is far too soon to hope, yet I do.

For those who would judge me and say I'm just looking for a mistress, I respond with "Ayana is not a substitute for Cyd, she is, hopefully, an addition to our marriage who will love Cyd as I do. She is for Cyd as much as she is for me and both Cyd and I will love her as we love each other or the union will not happen."

My love for Cyd has not, and will not, diminish in even a small measure. Cyd realizes she can not provide all my needs and I realize I can not provide all her needs. Perhaps with the addition of Ayana, we can all three provide for each other so that all our needs are met.

Until the day when society allows us to legally bond, society can go fuck itself.

Bachelor's out of the way ... on to the Master's!

Sunday, February 14. 2016

I received my B.A. in Media Communications from SUNY ESC on February 1, 2016. I let this milestone pass without a lot of fanfare because I know it's just the second step of a 5-step plan to teach Middle School kids Media Arts, Creative Writing and Social Science.

I was notified yesterday (February 13, 2016) that the director of my program has recommended me for admission to SUNY Brockport for a M.A. in Liberal Studies. This is not an official acceptance, but it's a very good indication I'll be attending this summer.

I'm also looking into the possibility of entering a Doctorate program while earning my Master's. Wish me luck.

I will consider humankind evolved when ...

Monday, June 29. 2015

... every human being is living comfortably and enjoying their lives without fear for their safety or the safety of their loved ones and no one is making a profit off the necessities of life: food, shelter, transportation, utilities, clothing and healthcare.

Money truly is the root of all evil, and the pursuit of money is a path littered with the dreams and lives of those who suffered to give the wealthy their undeserved status. No wealth is gained without human suffering. Those who say they earned their wealth by the sweat of their brow and their talents are lying ... lying to themselves, perhaps, but lying nonetheless.

I've run across a couple posts recently made by businessmen who say it is possible to operate a business that puts people before profit and I wanted to respond that they were wrong, but I remained silent because I don't want to discourage businesses from treating their employees with at least some semblance of respect. The fact is, however, that if one has employees, one is profiting from the work of those employees unless the profit is split equally among all persons who own and are employed by the company. Therefore, if they are not sharing the profit equally, they are putting profit before people, no matter how fairly they may otherwise treat the employees.

Along those lines, the same people that loudly claim we need to return to the Nuclear Family don't seem to understand that during that time the wealth divide wasn't nearly so wide. Owners didn't make hundreds of times more than the lowest paid employees, in fact it was rare that the President of a company made more than ten times as much as the lowest paid employee. Women stayed home to care for the house and children because one income was sufficient to give the family everything they needed for a comfortable life. The crime rate was lower because fewer people per capita felt compelled to resort to crime to secure the basic necessities of life.

I'm speaking generically, of course. The large cities still had an unproportionate crime rate compared to small towns and suburban areas. Rents were higher and homes were more expensive in the large cities, so more women had to work to support the family, etc., but the fact remains that life was better during those times mainly because wages were fairer.

I'm not one of those that want to return to the Nuclear Family. I want us to evolve far beyond that. I want us to treat our fellow human beings, regardless of race/religion/sex/gender identification/height/weight/eye color/hair color/body type/etc. as equals, with respect, empathy and genuine concern for their well-being.

Money gets in the way of that.

My wife shared a fantasy with me recently that God or whatever decides the wealthiest person on the planet dies each day. After a short while, the rich would begin getting rid of their money and very soon we would be on equal economic footing world-wide. If we were economic equals, I can't help but think we would be equal in every other aspect within a generation.

Back from my mini hiatus ...

Monday, June 29. 2015

... and my soul is cleansed though my heart is still heavy.

I've been trying to reconnect a bit with my family ... my old family ... the Hunt side. I'm ashamed to say I've been out of touch for so long a couple of my daughters had children that I just found out about recently. I have, by last count, six grandkids and I've never met any of them. Distance and economics counts for a lot, but I really have no excuses. I have only regret for not having made an effort to go back to Colorado at least once in the last 20 years. I tried to keep in touch, but after several years of unanswered letters I gave up. Shame on me for giving up.

I could go on an on about how life kept getting in the way ... moving to Oregon to escape the lunacy in Colorado, falling off a cliff, being out of work while I recuperated from bad injuries, moving to NY, being crippled by an on-the-job accident, on an on the list goes, but the simple fact is that if I had really wanted to, I would have done something to connect and stay connected to my kids. Even Cody, who lived with me until he was an adult, has been out of touch with me for over 10 years now.

I know my kids may not want to have anything to do with me and I'll accept that if it turns out that way. I hope they know I love them and if I could go back in time I would have made different decisions when their mother abandoned us that would have kept us together, for better or worse. My kids will tell you that when I was raising them, I was a good father. I never struck any of them, nor did I raise my voice more than a few times. I showered them with love and treated them with respect. I tried to teach them to be independent, honorable and empathetic ... I hope those lessons were learned and helped them with their difficult walks through life with an absent father and deceased mother and being raised by their grandmothers.

I love you Jessie, Kyry and Tabitha ... I hope you know that and will let me try to make up for the years we've been out of touch. And Jay, I love you as well and I hope life brings us to a point where we can get to know each other.

I make no excuses, I made bad decisions that impacted your lives. But I never stopped loving you and I am sorry for those decisions and I ask your forgiveness.

Heartsick.

Tuesday, June 23. 2015

It's been a while since I've posted because I've been rather depressed by the mad rantings on the Leftist website I visit a lot, dailykos.com.

The "hate to combat hate" mentality seems to have almost taken over and it's hard to find a post that doesn't call everyone who disagrees with them "stupid" or worse.

In the pursuit of making the world safe for their children, these people are acting like angry, spoiled, judgmental children themselves and it just makes my soul heavy to read post after post where the very people who are supposed to be the voice of reason are even more vicious in their attacks on the Right than the Right themselves ever were.

I've tried to interject with calm reason, but even I have become the brunt of hateful flaming for daring to say "there's two sides to every story."

I'm going to take a few weeks off and try to think of a way to express that even those who believe differently than the status quo have the Constitutional right to state their beliefs.

Nine people dead in South Carolina.

Saturday, June 20. 2015

Nine people died yesterday for no reason except their skin was black. That news made me sad, but the aftermath of vicious commentary from both the Left and the Right using this tragedy as a backdrop for discussion regarding gun control and White racism depleted my reserve of love for humanity and sent me to bed for a 5-hour nap.

I awoke still heartsick and I'm not sure I'm going to recover any time soon.

How quickly we forget ...

Tuesday, June 16. 2015

I woke up this morning not knowing what time it was because the power was out and the clock in the bedroom is electric. I spent a half hour bitching to myself about how inconvenient it is that I didn't have internet or tv or anything to do. For that half hour I felt completely crippled and unable to do anything but mentally scream at the Universe for being so unfair. Then I rememberd I have over 400 books, at least a fourth of which I've never read, so I grabbed one pretty much at random and sat down to read it.

I used to be an avid reader. I would consume at least two books a week and I think my average was about three a week. A few years back I had found the entire Piers Anthony series (about 30 total) and read them in just under two months. I did the same thing when my mother gave me the Zane Grey series in my late teens.

Sad thing is, I found myself bored with the book I chose this morning, picked another one and became bored with it as well. What the fuck happened to me? Is technology that intrepid? Have I become a slave to electronics? Yeah, I guess I have.

I'd make a resolution to "get back to my roots" and slowly wean myself off the electronics, but I know myself well enough to accept it would only be a passing fancy and I'd be right back where I am now in a short time.

So, I'll try to read before going to bed instead of watching tv ... maybe that will pacify my soul.